The popular prophecy told us the end of everything – the doomsday – is on its way coming around December 2012 – which is actually next year. Well, for me it wouldn’t be next year. It is now. It is happening. Yes, seriously.

I had posted another story about doomsday before. In that post, I crowned the early of 2011 as the era of failure, hard work and no achievement. Sadly, now I have to crown the middle of 2011 with the same title. Welcome to my the depression era! Woohoo!

Enjoy summer holiday
Source image: quotesideas.com
My life has currently turned into a gloomy version of Rachel Berry’s on mid season of Glee. Being rejected all over by everyone. I thought my condition couldn’t get any worse. Check these out:

In the first place, I supposed to have my internship program by now (from June to August. The summer vocation, yeah), but I didn’t get one. I must say I was being idealistic. I refused all chances to work as Graphic Designers. It was simply because I wanted to work in my related field: Cinematography. I was cheated myself a bit. I didn’t submit any applications to any production house. I was afraid to be rejected, I felt I wasn't not good enough. There were several software I still have to master: Avid Media Composer and Final Cut Pro. I have a strong belief that none of those PHs would accept an intern who incapable to use these software. So I postponed the internship until next year while all my friends already having theirs. Life sucks!

Secondly, I was rejoiced a bit earlier this month as Mom told me that I might return home. There was no guarantee that I would be actively do something at home, but at least I knew that Mom needed lots of hands. Lately she told me that the idea was officially cancelled due to economic crisis in our family. PERFECT! Now I’m trapped two fucking months with nothing to do! Another great news, my mom just cut down my monthly bills. She thought I wouldn’t be needed much money in holiday. I can’t argue with her on this. Mother knows best, right?

Third. I just checked my final exam marks online. Nah. Here comes the worst after all. Well, I was already prepared for this. I had this vision that I won’t make it for scholarship this semester (The pro singers always know if they blew up notes while singing). I got four B's from six classes. Scholarship could tolerate TWO B’s at max, while I had double. My latest movie: MIRROR was a total disaster – I blamed no one here but the technical obstacles we had which turned into a catastrophic disaster.

So, what am I going to do?

I always have backup plans though they often end up still as plans.

1. Learn to use Avid Media Composer, Final Cut and Adobe After Effect online. I bought CD’s from Lynda’s a couple days ago. However I predict this private learning sessions might be extremely boring. 

2. Finish watching all seasons of Glee, Grey's Anatomy and CSI:NY plus dozens of HD movies inside the HDD my uncle just handed-over. Yes, I am more than ready to become the ultimate potato coach.

3. Have a physical transformation. A make-over! Err, this has been my wishful thinking these recent years and I never made it. Maybe this time... 

4. Join an Aikido class. Since I landed in this dangerous city called Jakarta, I realised that the only thing which could keep me physically safe is by mastering martial arts. Why Aikido? Because I think Aikido is the coolest of all. I watched it on YouTube. The practitioners, they’re like DANCING while actually fighting. How cool is that?

5. Get a freelance job as a layouter, graphic designer or anything. Yes people. I'm desperate to have more money.

6. Force my brain to drop out a mega plan for final project. Lately I was having a sort of brain dead. I want to make something visually beautiful with a complicated story inside. Maybe something like The Black Swan, Memento or Donnie Darko.

7. Do a social work. I was touched by Bonnie Johnson, one disabled character in Glee season one who was granted by the evil Sue Sylvester to join cheerios. I might end up as a saint in the end of this vocation.

8. Sleep all-day long, eat as much as possible and die young of cholesterol.

Oh, I still have backup plan for the backup-plan:

1. Finish my novel: Big Project of the Year. The rejection of “The Rich and The Lucky One” hit me hard but then I realised that the only possible way to publish it  is by changing the place set to Jakarta [or Indonesia]. Another complication emerged, how am I supposed to develop the story in a different set? I need a help!

2. Making short movies to be included in my portfolios. I got the ideas, the script, etc. Ben agreed to team up with me but he’s still skiing in New Zealand and would probably return two weeks later. 

So, it seems like there are two possibilities you guys would find me by the end of this vocation:
1. Alive with a wide smile and laugh. With new lean sexy body, bags of achievements, tons of new skills, a real portfolio and [crossing fingers] fully filled piggy bank.

2. Died of bored. Ugh!

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